


Tomoe's Melodramatic Pursuit Of Her Girlfriend

by MakesNoNonsense



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, lower your expectations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15761820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MakesNoNonsense/pseuds/MakesNoNonsense
Summary: [COMIC PANIC!! starts playing]Everything is fine and dandy until, suddenly, Tomoe's Himari Senses begin to tingle.Himari isn't thereJust what will Tomoe have to do in this bizarre adventure in order to rescue Himari from the phantom thief, Kaoru?





	Tomoe's Melodramatic Pursuit Of Her Girlfriend

            Tomoe couldn’t help but walk with a spring in her step and hum to herself as she walked down the pavement. She’s going to see her girlfriend. She turned the corner and came up in front of Himari’s house.  
  
            Then, she stopped dead in her tracks.

            She didn’t need to knock. She just knew. Himari isn’t there.

            She felt her phone vibrate in her jacket pocket and answered the unknown call.

            “Himari isn’t there” The unknown caller said.  
  
            “I know. Is that you, Kaoru??” Tomoe asked.  
  
            “Your beloved kitten has been taken hostage by none other than I, Kaoru Seta!”  
            “Hi Tomoe!!!” Himari’s sweet voice could be heard in the background of the call. If Tomoe were a doggie right now, her ears would be perked and her tail would be wagging.  
  
            “This lovely kitten and I shall eagerly await for your arrival on the Hanasakigawa school rooftop!”  
            “The what??”  
            “The rooftop.”  
            “No, that other thing”  
            “That is the school that our that our comrades such as Kasumi and Saaya attend.”  
            “Ohhh, lol, you mean the Idiot school.” Tomoe said, laughing.  
            “Yes, that is exactly what I meant. I am eternally grateful that we have been blessed to attend the Other school. As the great bard once said-“  
            “Only the best Bang dream characters go to the Other school” Tomoe finished Kaoru’s wise words of wisdom.

“I see you are a man of culture as well,” Kaoru laughed. “Not many of the Common Folk are aware of that fact.”  
            “We go to the same school.”  
            “That is very much... A _possibility_.”  
            “I’m going to go get you now”  
            “We will be lustfully waiting for your arrival”  
            “Don’t do that.” Tomoe ended the call and made her way to the Stupid Characters Of Bang Dream School.

 

* * *

 

 

  
            Tomoe reached the shitty school and looked to the top of the building at the rooftop. She saw Kaoru quickly duck her head out of view. At least she wasn’t lying about being here. Tomoe would’ve known that they were here anyways due to her Himari Senses.  
  
            Tomoe opened the doors to enter the building and immediately 20 large rats rushed outside past her. _Damn, I knew this school was a shithole, but I didn’t know it was that bad_ she thought to herself.  
  
            The school was dark because none of the lights were on and the halls were empty because nobody wanted to go to this god-awful place, not even the students that actually attended.  
            Tomoe started walking down a hall to make her way to a staircase so that she could reach the rooftop, but suddenly a classroom door opened and Kokoro Tsurumaki jumped out in front of her.  
  
            “Ya-ho!! Happy! Lucky!!...” Kokoro sang out.  
            “Smile!! Yay!!!” Tomoe finished the chant.  
  
_(Somewhere, Himari felt very upset and hurt that Tomoe was willing to do the stupid ‘Happy Lucky’ chant, but never the “Hey, Hey, Hoh!” with her.)_  
  
            “Tomoe! You have to get through me, first!” Kokoro shouted with a smile wide as ever.  
            “Hmm, I guess it makes sense that it wouldn’t be as simple as showing up and getting to the roof,” Tomoe sighed. “Alright, what is it, then? How do I get past you?”  
            “This is will be a tough one!” Kokoro grinned as she threw her arms up in the air. “You have to find a way to take away my smile!”  
            “Oh, that _is_ tough...” Tomoe thought to herself aloud. “Can I punch you or something?”  
            “Nope! that’s cheating!”  
            “Umm...” Tomoe wracked her brain for something sad to say. “Your band will end someday.”  

            She immediately regretted those words as soon as they left her mouth, because she knew it was a fact that could also apply to her with all her best friends in Afterglow. She felt dirty.  
            “That’s okay!” Kokoro beamed. “Because even if _Hello, Happy World!_ goes away, the songs we made and the smiles we spread will last forever! The members of _Hello, Happy World!_ will always be my dearest and most treasured friends, even if the band doesn’t exist anymore!” Kokoro threw her hands in the air again as she finished saying this.

“Thanks, Kokoro” Tomoe was extremely relieved that Kokoro was able to shoot down her attempt so easily. She felt much better.  
            “For what?” Kokoro asked, puzzled.  
            “Umm...” Tomoe didn’t want to get sidetracked. She was here to save Himari. She had to think of something fast to make Kokoro stop smiling. “What’s the deal with all the ‘smile’ stuff anyways?”  
            “Hm?”  
            “You try so hard to find fun things and do happy stuff. Is it because money can’t buy you happiness? Do your parents not spend enough time with you so you try to be happy in other ways, or something like that?”  
            “...Haha, what?” Kokoro still had a smile on her face, but a single tear rolled down her cheek.  
            “Roselia is the most popular band in Bang Dream”  
            “W-Wait a min—“  
            “There are people who actually like Arisa”  
            _“What the fuck..._ “ Kokoro gripped the sides of her head, tears rolling down her face. Her smile? Broken. She’s an alcoholic, now.  
            She looked like how her chibi does in-game when you fail cuz u fuckin suck. That’s the best chibi in the game.

  
            “That’s the best chibi in the game,” Tomoe said.  
            Kokoro had sunk to the floor but sat against the wall to stay out of Tomoe’s path so that she could continue her mission to get to the rooftop. Tomoe had won, but she felt kind of bad. She couldn’t just leave her like that.  
  
            Tomoe leaned down in front of Kokoro so that they could be eye-level. Kokoro was rocking back and forth, trying her best to Sea the World (Misaki)1 in the same way that she once had.  
            “Kokoro, it’s okay,” Tomoe said in a warm and soothing voice, resting her hands on the sobbing girl’s shoulders. “Roselia stans are incels, so it’s not that bad.”  
            “Th-They are?” The Kokoro whimpered, finally looking up.  
            “Of course they are,” Tomoe said, hugging her tightly. “It’s gonna be okay. Don’t worry anymore.”  
            “What about people who like Arisa?” Kokoro asked, wiping at her tears.  
            “I lied,” Tomoe said with a gentle smile. “That was just a lie. Those people don’t exist”  
            Slowly, but surely, Kokoro’s smile returned to her face. The world was good again. There was hope.

            Tomoe rose to her feet. “Sorry that I kind of went too far there,” she said. “But I have to get going, now. Himari is waiting for me!”   
            “Do your best, Tomoe!” Kokoro said. She regained her smile full-force. “Happy! Lucky!!...”  
  
            “Smile! Yay!!” Tomoe held up a peace sign and gave her best smile before heading down the hallway and making her way up the stairs to the second floor. The rest of the stairs that led to the 3rd floor was blocked off by rubble, so she would need to get to the staircase on the opposite end of this floor to continue upwards.

            Tomoe walked down the hallways until she turned a corner and saw the figure of someone laying on the ground. She gasped and ran over to help. She knelt in front of the person and saw that it was Misaki Okusawa.

            “H-Hey! Okusawa-san? Are you okay??” She called out, lightly tapping her face. Misaki opened her eyes wide as she seemed to jolt with life.

            “Woah!! What the fuck??” She glanced at Tomoe. “Get off me! What the hell?” Misaki scooted backwards and Tomoe backed off a bit as well, to give her some space.

            “Sorry, my bad. Are you alright, though?” Tomoe asked, very concerned.

            “Why did you do all that? I was sleeping…” Misaki groaned. “Ughh, Kaoru drags me here to help her with this stupid game thing or whatever and here I am thinking I can get off easy by just taking a nap, but _nooo_! You decide to waste both of our time and come slapping me awake. You could have easily ignored me and kept going!”

            “Wha…?” Tomoe blinked incredulously. “I… I thought you might have been hurt! Or _dying_!” She exclaimed.

            Misaki’s eyes narrowed. “What the… That’s even _worse!_ You wouldn’t even let me _die_ in _peace_??” She stood up, crossing her arms. “You know what? I decided that your challenge now is to leave! Just leave me alone! Go! Just go! _Get Out!_ Now! _Now!!”_

            Tomoe was shook. She stumbled to her feet, walking shakily past Misaki and further down the hall. Even though she had eventually made it well out of sight and reached the staircase, she could still hear Misaki’s shouts echoing after her.

            “ ** _NOWWWWWWW!!! NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!_** ”2  
  
             _what is wrong with that girl??_

            Tomoe climbed the stairs to the 3rd floor and saw that she would need to make it to the opposite end of the floor, again, to get to the stairs to the rooftop because I said so.

            She walked down the dark halls until she saw a single person come into view. Tae Hanazono was blocking her way. Wait, Tae hanazono?

            “Huh?” Tomoe blurted out.

            “…Huh?” Tae repeated her.

            “Tae Hanazono? You’re not in _Hello, Happy World!_ ”

            “Why do you bring that up?” Tae asked, puzzled.

            “Well, Kaoru is on the roof… And I ran into Kokoro and Misaki on the way up here… So, I kind of just figured next would be…” Tomoe trailed off.

            “Hmm...” Tae placed a hand on her chin and titled her head to the side. “But Kaoru, Kokoro, and Misaki are the only members in _Hello, Happy World!_ ” She said.

            And she was right. There are only three members in _Hello, Happy World!_

            “There are only three members in _Hello, Happy World!”_ Tae repeated.  
            “Y-yeah, right…” Tomoe laughed nervously. “So anyways, what do I have to do to get past you, Tae?”

            “Oh yeah, that’s right!” Tae said, as if she just remembered something. Then she did her best at putting on a serious face, but since she’s Tae, she still looked incredibly adorable because Tae is the best character in Bang Dream.

            “This is going to be the worst thing you’ve ever done since setting foot in here.” Tae huffed. “I’ll make you regret what you did to my rabbits!”

            “Huh? Your rabbits?” Tomoe said, bewildered. “I didn’t do anything to any rabbits. I didn’t even know you had pets.”

            Tae shook her head. “You let them all escape when you first came into the building. They ran off into the street. They’re dead, now.”

            “…Bitch, those were _rats!_ ” Tomoe exclaimed.

            “And now you go insulting them after their death. That’s just rude and unforgivable. Here,” Tae held out a sheet of paper. “Time for retribution.”

            Tomoe took the sheet of paper and stared at it.

_Tomo Udagawa’s 3 rd Floor Challenge_

_You must choose one (1) torture to continue onto the roof_

_Please Mark one of the following boxes below:_

 

 ** _Allow Tae Hanazono to saw off two limbs_** ☐

 ** _Quit Afterglow and never speak to your bandmates ever again_** ☐

 ** _Double-cross Himari and stab her after you’ve saved her_** ☐

 ** _Become a MocaRan shipper_** ☐

 ** _Stan LOONA_** ☐

 ** _Don’t even think about ramen ever again _**☐

 

_(Failure to carry out a single torture **will** result in your death.)_

 

 

            She did her best to hold back the tears, but it was no use. Tomoe began to cry. The tears rolled down her cheeks, some staining the paper she held in her trembling hands. Her face was hot and her chest hurt. She couldn’t stop sobbing.

            Tae sighed. “I think you should tell me your answer before you end up tearing the paper in half,”

            “I…I c-can’t…” Tomoe stammered.

            “You have no choice if you want to get to the roof—”

            “I-I can’t… read” Tomoe sobbed. She finally admitted it.

            Tae was like, _ultra_ -shook. Shook speechless. That weave? Snatched. Scalped. Right. Off.3

            Tomoe was too ashamed to look up from the paper. So, she kept her head down and stared at the weird symbols on the page.

            Tae still didn’t know what to say. They had been standing in silence like this for a few minutes now. She started to really feel bad for the bitch, so Tae, like the compassionate Goddess she is, decided to show some mercy.

            “Tomoe,” Tae said. “You can go. It’s alright”

            “I… B-But I.. I d-didn’t do the challenge...” She sputtered. “I-I didn’t get to do the… to do the ch-challenge becau-because I can’t r-r—"

            “Shhh, It’s okay.” Tae said in a soothing, hot, mommy voice. “You can go now, Tomoe. I passed you. Go ahead. To the roof.”

            Tomoe nodded slowly. “Okay,” She still felt too embarrassed to look up from the paper, and her legs felt so stiff and heavy that it took a few moments to get them to move. But eventually, she walked past Tae, through the halls, and reached the staircase that allowed entry to the roof.

            Tomoe used the sheet of paper as a tissue to blow her nose, then threw it off to the side somewhere. It occurred to her that she didn’t even say ‘thank you’ to Tae for letting her pass, even when she clearly didn’t deserve it. Hopefully Tae was able to sense or understand how grateful she was. Tomoe could already tell that she wasn’t gonna feel comfortable making eye contact with Tae for some time now after what just happened. Hopefully they don’t run into each other too much after this.

            Tomoe then noticed a piece of paper on the ground. She picked it up and read it

_In front of you are two doors. The door on the left leads to the basement. The door on the Right leads to the roof. That Is where your challenge will take place._

            “All right, I’ve nearly made it!” said out loud to herself, then entered through the door on the right.  She climbed some more stairs and reached the door that led to the roof, but it was locked.

            Then, Kaoru’s voice came on through the PA system.

            “Tomoe Udagawa! On the ground in front of you, you will find a single sheet of cardstock paper. Your final challenge is to simply read aloud the quote that has been majestically printed on it.”

            Tomoe looked on the ground and saw the paper Kaoru was talking about. She picked it up and read it out loud.

            “… _HH is a cunt_ …?” She said.

            “Wonderfully done, Tomoe, you sexy beast! Well done! You did it!” Kaoru’s voice came over the PA system again.

            Himari’s voice could be heard in the background. “Hey, what does HH mean?”

            “It means…” Kaoru said, pausing for dramatic effect. “Exactly what you think it means.”

            “Hmm, I don’t really get it. It’s so vague!” Himari said.

            “In time, perhaps, you may come to understand,” Kaoru said.

            There was a loud click. The door was unlocked. Tomoe turned the knob and Entered the Outside.

 

 

“CONGRATULATIONS!!”

            Tomoe was immediately showered with confetti and streamers. She heard party blowers going off and clapping from all around her. She was surrounded by all the friends that made this entire event possible. She saw Kokoro, Misaki, Ta—actually, we won’t look at Tae. There was two and a half of the remaining rats that survived from being out on the streets, Himari, and of course, viewers like you. _Thank you._

            “Tomoe!!” Himari squealed as she ran over give a hug. “You did it! You rescued the Princess!!”

            “I guess I really did!” Tomoe laughed. “It was… something!”

            “Are you ready for your prize?” Himari asked, pulling away from the hug.

            Tomoe’s heart skipped a beat. “I’m ready!” _Of course_ she was. She was ready to finally, officially put an end to this roller coaster of a date.

            “You have done well, Tomoe Udagawa!” Kaoru’s loud voice came from behind her. Tomoe turned around to find Kaoru posing elegantly in her Phantom Thief garb. “You have traversed and endured countless trials in pursuit of me, and now here we stand! Face to face!”

            “Kaoru, you idiot,” Tomoe said, quickly making her way over to her girlfriend, kissing her gently and holding her tightly. “I finally caught you.”

            More cheering and clapping erupted from the others on the rooftop. A bottle of champagne was popped.

            “You had a nice set-up this time,” Tomoe said as she gazed lovingly into Kaoru’s eyes, the girl we all wish we had but can’t fucking have because she’s not and will never be real. “But honestly,” Tomoe continued. “I’m glad it was over with… that might’ve been your most exhausting idea yet. I’m ready for something normal again, like a date during one of the town’s festivals or something.”

            Kaoru laughed. “Worry not, my lovely little _angle_! As a perfect being that radiates beauty that one have ever known to mankind before, you deserve a courtship experience like none other! I have already begun to _ruminate_ on a perfect scenario for the month approaching!” She stared off dramatically into the sun.

            “Okay, first of all, cut that out before you go blind!” Tomoe yelled, using her hands to forcefully make her turn away.

            “Yay! Kaoru!” Kokoro cheered. “What’s your plan for next month? Can I help, too?”

            “Can I not help next month?” Tae asked in grief. “Me and my two rabbits want no part in this any longer.”

            “I wish not to spoil the fun with details,” Kaoru moaned. “But I will say, I have thoughts of something… _dazzling._ Perhaps a… Flash mob?”

            “Or a robbery!” Himari chimed in.

            “No!! _Himari!_ ” Tomoe shouted. “Don’t give her dangerous ideas!”

            “Ah! That’s it! A… _Flash mobbery_!” Kaoru proclaimed.

            Tomoe groaned.

            Oh well. She knew what she was getting into when she first came to realize she had feelings for this fool all those 86 years ago. She doesn’t regret it at all. She loves her. Any girl would be lucky to have kaoru seta. Kaoru would treat you _right._ Also kaoru is rubbing tomoe’s beautifully chiseled drummer abs right now.

            The end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> 1 Sea the World (Misaki) is a stupid inside-ish joke that nobody will understand.
> 
> 2 Misaki screaming “Get out! Now!” is a reference to my fave punchlines in CalebCity videos. More specifically the mid-term and Super human interview skits.
> 
> 3 I don’t actually know what any of these mean.
> 
> having characters repeat lines in their dialogue that was already just stated in the narration is me being really mean and making fun of a writing style I saw in a Love Live! fanfic YEARS ago. To be fair, the op was probably 12 or something and i'm 200% they are a much better writer now... that is, if they still do write or whataever now
> 
> and finally, a bonus little tidbit, tomoe was on her way to himari's house because she was going to be tutored on how to read :) (: :)


End file.
